Short but sweet times two.

This week I had an amazing step forward (pardon the pun)! I took Gertie Mae for a walk to the mail box and back. I then took Gus on a walk to the mail box and back. It was not a long walk because I am still very slow and a bit anxious about falling still. The other factor in the length was how long I felt Gus and Gertie could stand being reminded who was boss. I did some minor training stuff--no pulling, sit when I stop type of stuff. They have been too use to dragging mom around that reminding them is a must but also tiring to all. Looks like we all need more practice!

Hospital Visit II--this round w/results

Well, after a very frustrating day at the hospital I went home. The following day I had a wonderful excursion to the doctor's office who preformed in office "surgery" (that brings the tally up to 8) where my Doctor removed all five pins that went through my foot. I have never been so excited to be able to wiggle my toes!!! The procedure was relatively painless--felt more like someone very sharply pinching me--though the nurse did say to double up on pain meds before I came in. My doctor giddily remarked, "I can't believe you let me do this in the office!" after removing all 5 pins. I think he likes his job a little too much sometimes! But I am very glad he does! So, I was able to wear two socks and two shoes for the first time since August. Unless you have not been in a similar situation you might not know how those two items meant so much! Surgery to removal and replace three half pins (those are the ones that go into the bone versus the wires that go through the entire leg) was then scheduled for Thursday the next week on December 6th. That surgery was a breeze (am I off my rocker that I have had so many surgeries to say such a thing)! I had no problems with anesthesia or leg spasms or leg cramps. Thank god for good drugs! I spent the night and after some physical therapy the next morning I was ready to go home!

Is there such a thing a self-help/parenting book for parents who have to/get to bring a child or more back home?

If not there should be! If so do you think it is too late for my parents to get some kind of education in before it is too late?

I wrote this to a dear friend who said it was a hoot and very touching to read all at the same time, so enjoy.

There are days that am so endeared to my parents. And then there are other days.... I have had visions of placing them in specific "homes" that have had anything but a good reputations. And of course in my visions I cackle and remind them of the torture they put me through way back when in 2007-2008. I also have another dream where I put them in the smallest of rooms in my "mansion of a home" and only let them have a bed, some clothing and nothing else that would be of importance and/or helpful, or useful to wile the days away. Of course I am saying in a sickening voice with a large smile, "it will only be temporary."

Then there are those other days that I can't believe that I not only had parents able but more than willing to hold me up while I travel this journey. And hold me up they have!

Hurry up! & Wait!

As many of you knew I was suppose to have surgery on Thursday, November 29th. I went to the hospital at 12n without having eaten anything 8 hours prior (had oatmeal at 4am). I then proceeded to sit around for hours. At 3pm I was put in "my" room. I had wonderful prayer said from my FCCB minister asking for Divine assistance--that all needles would be very sharp.

Shortly there after the nurses started to try to get an IV line into me. (Did you note my word choice of started and try?) After a few failed attempts the nurses decided to warm my arms and veins up wrapping them in warm blankets. Every so often the nurses would check on the "progress" of my veins & adding more warm blankets as they felt necessary. It didn't take long before I was loaded down unable to move my arms. Ironically the one day I needed to be warm my body decided not to overheat.

A "special" nurse from the ER was called up to try and get an IV in me. Reportedly she had a special touch with what I am now referred to, "A hard stick." I got very worried when she said, "Well I guess this means I must go vein diving." I really wanted to take my arm away from her and say, "Only if you go first!" Unfortunately she had a better grip.

I am not sure the medical community realizes what they see as routine can be extremely horrifying to a patient. I found the ER nurse to be less than special. Instead she was highly painful.! A dear friend who was waiting with me commented on how she now understood my funny prayer request. She was amazed at how easy it was to become frustrated and apprehensive of needles after watching just one failed attempt. And she was only watching! I have a variety of lovely colored bruises and very tender skin patches to attest to quite a "few" failures--both arms and both sides.

Around 6pm a nurse came in with good news and bad news. The good news was that the nursing staff was not going to try and poke me any more. The bad news was that the surgery was postponed. In the same moment I was relieved and irritated but hunger pains out weighed all thoughts. Mom & Dad then took me out to dinner where we feasted. So, what ask you of the surgery....to be continued. :)

Upcoming Surgery

I have exciting news-I am getting the dang foot plate removed either next week or the following week. It will probably be two weeks from now considering how surgery scheduling usually goes.
But if I have any more pain and/or problems I am to alert my doc for emergency surgery. Since I have NEVER liked the dang foot plate I am not sad to see it go or the five pins going through my foot! Surgery here I come! Dr. Taranow let me know that the surgery could be as simple as 1 hour or as complicated as 3 hours depending on how one of my half pins is behaving in the bone.

So, socks are defiantly are in the near future. Sadly I am afraid shoes are not going to be so easy at first. But my tootsies will be free! In other exciting news I have a bone cloud, which means I am laying down bone around my fractures. I have only one thing to say about that--FINALLY! Dr. Gillman the big-wig from Portland, Oregon (one of the leading experts in this field) who has been advising Dr. Taranow b/c I am such a weird case was quite surprised to hear that I have a bone cloud around my fractures. Woooo Whoooo! Now I just need more and more bone growth.

xoxo
Lara

Sweet tooth

My mother can attest to the fact that I was never a child who liked sweets. I love Halloween and it has never been for the candy. In fact I would count, separate, categorize the candy I collected on Halloween as a child most likely to compete with my sister on who got the most especially of the "good stuff" which was usually decided on the basis of size and/or quantity in the package. After that I would take a few pieces out to munch on. These items would last me weeks. The other candy would go into a special box that I stored my Halloween candy in. I can't decide which is worse the knowledge that my mother only let me go out on Halloween if I threw away the candy from the previous Halloween. Or finding out that during the year if my mother needed a chocolate and/or sweet fix she would delve into my stash. My sister, Mari, on the other hand would gobble up her candy with in the first couple of days. She was the real sweet tooth of the family.

Since March I can't get enough sweets to really truly satisfy me! It has baffled my parents. I, the child who when tasted my first cake spit it back out, would be willing to eat that thick overly sweet, made of just sugar and lard, frosting. A dear friend pointed out to me that all my pain medications are at a chemical level related to heroin. Heroin addicts crave sugar--so in a medical way I am controlled junkie who always needs a sweet fix. Any body up for some cake and ice cream? And since Halloween is nearly upon us I can hardly wait for the left over candy! Is it so wrong to pilfer through the candy before Halloween?

I am a bad blogger

To My Avid Fans (which I think only includes the delightful church ladies who are my cheerleaders):
I am truly sorry I have not updated anything for a while! May I blame the drugs?

Actually the wrong type of drugs & dosing really was an issue! The pain was so extreme from that last surgery! I know why the docs don't give you a lot of information about bone grafts and harvesting bone from oneself. In any case I had some really rough weeks where I was less than a civil person. Thank you to all the saintly people, especially my parents, for realizing it was not the true me but a version in incredible pain. However, the flip side of the coin was that I was so drugged I felt fuzzy not to mention my slurred speech. Did you know an individual may not realize that they are drunk, dope, and/or drugged up because to them you sound perfectly normal. There were a handful of people who found my slurred speech to be quite a riot--glad I could entertain someone. :)

I finally saw the pain specialist in September unfortunately he was not able to prescribe anything all he could do was recommend what should be done to alleviate the pain. Everything he recommended has been amazing! Initially I was not overly impressed w/the pain specialist--not much of a bed side manner. After not being in constant agonizing pain and not feeling like a zombie life became much better. So, I am still taking quite a lot of pills but they have been spread out am, noon and pm. I also have my favorite prescription right over my "heart." I am now wearing a pain patch and it is amazing how I no longer have pain in my leg. I still get pain in my joints sleeping, walking, sitting etc. in odd positions with this contraption on my foot. I would like to know why the pain patch can't take care of that pain as well? Either way I feel so much better with the pain patch!

So, the latest doctor appointment revealed that my fractures are all aligned perfectly, "awesomely straight" were the doctor's exact words. Now all I have to do is grow more bone around everything. He has said taking this off would be a good Christmas present for him and me. However, his motto for TSF is that he would rather it be on a month too long than a second too early. Of course he says this without having to experience wearing one. He might reevaluate that motto a bit if he really had first hand experience of a TSF. I do agree with him to a point; I don't want it off too soon but I am really not keen on having it on a month too long. I think I would be way more positive about the situation if I didn't have this foot gadget attached. My toes are getting colder by the day with only more cool weather coming. People keep asking me how I am feeling. Any female will understand this explanation. It is like wearing those really cute pair of shoes that you know you should not have bought because they really were not your size; they pinch, poke and rub your feet so badly. Yet you look so darn good in them you could not resist. And every moment you have them on seems to be drawn out before you can go home and kick them off. Problem is I can't "kick mine off" and it is far from cute! I am not even going to go into how they make me feel--let's just keep it at I avoid full length mirrors at all costs.

I am out of the hospital bed and back into my own bed!

Sorry for not updating you all sooner--I should realize by now that I am less than functional after surgery! So, here is the break down:

The Not So Good Things
1) The surgery took 5 hours--was only suppose to take 2-3.
2) I missed lunch and dinner again.
3) I gained 5 more wires through my foot.
4) My stitches are icky looking!
5) I have two sets of stitches.
6) I was in agony after the surgery that first morning and it took all day for the doctors to figure out what to do--think of having a charlie horse and a major foot cramp for over 8 hours--NOT PRETTY (hence the lack of writing on the blog)! The pain was so bad all I could do was cry. :(
7) My energy levels are sapped again!
8) I have to wait until Tuesday 8/21/07 to find out what the next step is.
9) I am back to using the #$@*&^ walker because I am unable to put full weight on my right foot.
10) I am being sent to a pain specialist.

The Good Things
1) I had three wires that go through my leg taken out--so I only gained 2 more wires.
2) I got to have milk shakes at lunch and dinner.
3) Mom brought me a hamburger right after surgery so I didn't feel like I was starving.
4) Fun people sat with me while I waited for surgery
5) I didn't have to wait long to be checked in and taken up for surgery.
6) Fun people came to visit and check in on me in the hospital.
7) I received lovely gifts from wonderful people to make my stay more bearable!
8) The fracture site has healed even more since the last X-ray so less bone material was needed.
9) I didn't have to have bone harvested from my hip the docs could harvest the amount needed from my knee--a lot less painful and a lot less invasive!
10) The family and I have figured out what to do the next time I have surgery and I am not able to be my own advocate.
11) Saintly people have come to see me at home while I am in bed!
12) Saintly people have brought me yummy things to eat while I am confined in bed.
13) I have these foam octagons (Dad calls them my marshmallows) that help relieve pain by keeping the right amount of pressure on my pins and wires so the skin stays in place.
14) I am being sent to a pain specialist. :)

Latest Surgery Update

Checked in w/the doc on Friday. Looks like the surgery will be longer than expected b/c the pins and wires around my ankle are all loose which is the cause of my pain. In addition I had a minor pin site infection. The doctor was not concerned about a reoccurance of the staph infections--Thank God!!! He said my skin graft looked great and that is where there would be indication of the infection bubbling up--what a lovely thought that I wish I never heard! Another thing I did not want to hear was that all my leg surgeries are considered "Leg Salvage Surgeries," again not a pleasnt thought! The good news is that after one dose of the anti-biotic my ankle looked a million times better! Dr. Taranow also gave me some new pain medication that is helping a lot--but when it wears of it is instantanious pain. I don't even need to look at the clock to b/c it is always 8 hours on the dot that the pain comes back--on the up side (I think) it is a good alarm clock. Another plus is that my surgery is not scheduled for really early in the morning. I don't have to be at the hospital until 11:30am and the actual surgery is 1:20pm. Dr. Taranow laughed when I said I would be up before the sun was up for surgery--"You can be at the hospital that early but we won't be doing surgery until 1:20pm anyway!" Good thing I complained about the time! So I will be at St. Joes if you want to check in on me and find out what room I am in. I also learned you can send me emails or you can send me a "Cheer Card" who would have thought! So, if you are interested please do so! I would love to get a note to make me giggle since I will be in the hospital for 2-5 days. Oh, and if you send me flowers please note I am highly allergic to roses--besideds they are over rated anyway! I have to admit I am more excited than aprehensive about this surgery! I will update the blog no later than Tuesday--so check in again!
TTFN,
Lara

I am homeless

For those who did not know it my house in Auburn has been up for sale. I recieved an offer on it and accepted it--so now the ball is back in the buyers hands to do an inspection and get the financing (they were pre-approved for over the cost of the house) etc.... So keep your fingers crossed that by Wednesday I will be homeless or rather houseless.
xoxo Lara

Surgery Time Update

Great news I am having surgery at 7:30am on Monday. The good news is that it looks like I am first on the docket. Bad news is that I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning. Guess I will be up before the sun. :) Anybody who is up that early can join us!
xoxo
Lara

Surgery Update

I have found out that I will have surgery Monday, August 13th. It could be any time between 12n to 2:30--it has to do with the doctor who is flying in from Portland Oregon. Both my local orthopedic doctor, Dr. Taranow and the big wig doctor from Portland have rearranged their schedules to make this work now instead of waiting for September when their schedules would be a little bit clearer. Thank you to all who prayed to make this happen sooner! I have a pre-op appointment w/Dr. Taranow on Friday so I will be updating the blog then. Does anyone have any ideas of how to thank these docs for rearranging their schedules? As for those further interested in seeing what I get to look forward to please check out this website http://www.limblengthening.com/beforeafter.html. The foot stuff is what is going to be added to my current frame. The photos also show that I am not that bad off too!

Knitting the Pain Away

I wanted to give a big standing ovation to all my sister knitters (I hear we have a brother knitter out there but he remains to grace us with his presences since I started attending). I joined the knitting group at the First Congregational Church of Bellingham initially because it was a great way to get out of the house and it kept my hands busy without having to think too much. These reasons are so minute as to why I continue to attend! So here is my list of reasons why these Ladies of Knitting Needles Rock!

1. The endless peels of laughter that ensues!
2. The calming sense of keeping one's hands busy w/the same act over and over again.
3. Good stories of life from all realms!
4. Hugs.
5. Finding new ways to do the same old thing.
6. Sharing one's great news.
7. Splitting the sorrow up--dividing and conquering it!
8. Knowing I am not the only one struggling w/life!
9. Taking my pain morphing it into a tangible gift of warmth and love to be wrapped around someone in an unending hug of comfort.
10. Most importantly--the Knitters themselves--Kay P., Kay M., Phyllis, Sharry, Thirza, Sharon, Shirley, Cheryl, Miss Hannah, Nancy, Judy, Janet, Bobbi, Scott (the honorary knitter b/c of his comic relief) and all who have graced my presence on Wednesday nights whose names have slipped my mind (I blame the drugs--my story and I am sticking to it)!

One Step Forward Two Steps Backwards

Well to say I am a bit discouraged is an understatement! The good news is that three of the four fractures are healed and doing extremely well! The bad news is that the fracture that is directly on top of my tibia--closest to the skin--thus lacking in blood flow--is not viable. In other words it is dead. :( This is part of the bone that actually broke through the skin and where the infections took hold. We knew this was a possibility but were hoping we would not have to go down this road! I had been exceeding all the medical people's expectations so I was not prepared to hear this news! So, how to fix this--more surgery. I will have bone removed from my hip bone (the thought of this alone makes my stomach churn) it will be ground up and have what mom refers to as "Elmer Glue" for the bones added to my own bone and then grafted into the fracture site. On the upside are a couple of things:

1. My doctor is going to deal with my overly tight Achilles Tendon in the same surgery.
2. A big wig doctor who is part of the company who makes and distributes the Taylor-Spacial Frame is coming up to help with the surgery.
3. The big wig doctor's company is paying for his services--so much of the surgeon costs will be paid for.
4. What are a few more scars on your leg when ya got this many anyway! :)
5. I won't have to wear a scarf around my foot attached to the frame to keep my foot in a dorsal flexed position (90 degree angle).
6. More down time to knit
7. A walking cast is in my future in the next two to three months--how lucky I will be that summer's hottest days will be over when I get to wear it! :)
   

Sadly there are down sides to my positives--I will "get" to have the already huge frame on my leg extended to my foot--more pins, rods and do-hickeys that will assist in the lengthening of my dang Achilles. I will also have to have work done to my Achilles and/or the muscles it is attached to make sure it lengthens with out ripping apart. The biggest bummer of it all is that I was hoping to be home in Auburn in August. The earliest time the surgery can be scheduled is mid August and if it can't be done then it will have to wait until September. Scheduling two doctors with busy schedules and the busy hospital operating rooms will be challenging! After the surgery I will be in the dang contraption for 6-8 weeks more--both good and bad. As my dear friend Sacha Coughran stated, "6-8 weeks--you can handle that! It is not as if it will be another 6 months!" I am still bummed about the 6-8 weeks but I don't really have a choice in the matter--so I will muddle through!

My Delightful Babies!

I am delighted to report I have my babies with me.
It is not the ideal situation but nothing about my
situation is ideal!  Nevertheless, it has proven to
be quite humorous--though I am not sure Mom & Dad think so!

Dad put together 'containment' area w/mesh fencing.  I
stated my concerns that I thought my lovable bassets were
smart and persistent enough to get out of it.  Dad
pooh-poohed my concerns, because he knows about
dogs--he had dogs growing up and he lived on a farm--so
he knows dogs.  Yep and those dogs were not basset hounds! 
Unfortunately for Mom, my concerns proved to be valid because
they are quite the little Houdinis!   Gus, the younger of the
two is quite adept at finding wholes and/or pushing his way
through them.  Gertie Mae on the other hand lets Gus do all
the hard work and gets out when she doesn't have to put any
effort into it.  Gus has worked so hard at escaping that he
has rubbed his snout raw.I can't say I feel too sorry for him
(and Dad says they are not smart--lol)!

Mom and Dad have both found them early in the morning or
very late at night at their back door--whinnying/howling or
sitting in front of the window staring down at them.  Again,
I see the humor in it but Mom and Dad aren't quite as able! 
They are just coming to see their people!  Or more true to
the fact that they are looking for me.  For example they got
out again not too long ago one morning where Mom found
Gertie Mae pacing back in forth in front of the window to my
room--she must have been able to 'smell' me.  It makes me
laugh.  On quite a few times we have gone to leave and there
is Gus sitting on the stoop waiting for us.

Mom may get frustrated with them but they sure do have her
wrapped around their little paws!  Mom takes them out on
two walks a day--even though we have some neighbor kids come
take them out on a walk and play with them for a while. She
says she feels guilty when she feeds them and that they are
so excited to see her and so vocal when she leaves w/out
taking them out.  Even funnier is that it isn't Mom taking
them for a walk it is Gertie & Gus taking Mom for a walk. 
I keep trying to explain to her that they will walk nicely
beside you if you let them know who is boss.  I could even
walk them w/my leg as is if I could walk any distance w/out
a lot of pain.  I would not have to worry that they would
pull too hard but Mom says she just can't be stern w/them. 
I don't know why she can't with them but she can/could w/the
rest of the family members!

A neighbor commented the other day that it is the highlight
of his day to see Mom come past his house w/my babies. 
They are so excited, their tongues hanging out and their
tails wagging a mile a minute.  The gentleman commented how
humorous it was to see them take Mom for a walk--pulling her
a long.  He said it is too bad that she doesn't seem to be
enjoying the walk.  "Isn't it a shame that she is grimacing
when she is surrounded such jolly creatures."  The whole thing
makes me laugh!!!  Mom says they may be good for my health and
well being but not necessarily for hers--but she is walking
them at least once a day and walking is good for you--either
way it makes me giggle!

The Past--and so the Saga Began

The family was having a mini family reunion--just Mom, Pop & sister Mari. Mom, Dad and I started in Gadualjara Mexico on February 14th while we waited for Mari to catch up with us (she had major delays because of snow storms out East). We ventured onto a lovely little town an hour outside of Colima called Comala. It is at the base of one of the two volcanoes--whitewashed villas with cobblestone streets. How pretty and quaint, or so I thought! While getting ready for bed on our second night I slipped coming out of the bathroom on wet tile. The slipping wasn't so bad--the hitting the edge of the step and the very bad landing was what really did me in! I ended up breaking both the tibia and the fibula of my right leg on February 16th, 2007. To complicate matters it was a compound fracture--very messy! Mom and Mari were great and held my leg together while we waited over an hour for the EMTs to haul me away. Dad was great too in running to the police station to get help (Dad isn't one to run unless being chased). Unfortunately, the floor I laid upon was not sterile and I picked up two nasty staph infections--MRSA and another exotic water born one. However, we did not realize this until it was almost too late. The thing that astonishes me is that while I fully admit to being a klutz I really had never hurt myself too badly--mostly just really bad bruises. In previous situations I seemed to bounce a lot better! I am really talented and managed to slip on wet tile coming out of the bathroom. Thus I laid on the floor for over an hour waiting for the EMTs. There are some funny stories that go along w/that too--funny now but not so funny then. I had excellent medical care where a rod and four pins were put in to hold everything together.

When I got back stateside I was still in pain and it was getting worse so when I saw an orthopedist as a follow up he took one look at the wound and said welcome to the hospital. I spent all of March in the hospital trying to get the infections under control. The break in itself was awful and made worse by the infections! I found out that metal is a good conductor of infection which meant that the nasty bugs traveled the length of my lower leg. Consequently the docs had a hard time getting control of the infections. So, the medical big wigs decided, I had a whole team of doctors on my case at this time decide that the rod had to be removed or the leg would not be viable. So, thanks to some new technology--Wound V.A.C. (Vacuum Assisted Closure--also known as "the sucker machine") and a Taylor Spacial Frame I still have my leg! The Taylor Spacial Frame is what is holding my leg together--think "halo" for people who have had a spinal cord injury. It has earned the name of "The Bird Cage."

It has been a long haul but I have my leg. I was on IV anti-biotics for 17 weeks and the nasty bugs have been killed off (I have to the end of August to go to make it official to say they are gone).