Yep, two boots!

Look at me... I am wearing two shoes--well boots. I treated myself--might as well protect my lovely new scars and cover them all up while I am at it too! It is truly weird to be walking on two feet again! I am re-learning how to use my right leg which is also shorter than my left, so my stride is less strideful and more gimpy. At this point I don't care! I am just thrilled to be able to wear pants and socks that are not anklets! Now, I am able to ware skirts because I want to not because I have to. Isn't life grand?

Pieces of the past and hope for the future

I found these pictures on my camera and thought I would load them up on the blog. The VAC is the machine in the middle and the right photo is what really saved my life. VAC stands for Vacuum Assisted Closure--it sucked out the bad stuff and helped to regenerate good healthy tissue. Look at the last time my right ankle looked normal! At least there is proof.

Big City Hospitals

I am now wire, bolt and external metal free. I do have four pins and a rod in my right leg but it is on the inside!!! Sadly I am still non-weight bearing but I am metal free!

I had surgery on October 28th. I was to stay in the hospital around 15 days because of how extensive the surgery was. It was originally estimated that the surgery would last 12+ hours. This was because it was really two surgeries with two sets of surgeons--the orthopedic surgeon docs and the plastic surgeon docs.

The orthopedic docs were going to be the first in to take out the anti-biotic encased nail out of the inner shaft of my tibia. Set my tibia and bolt it together with four screws and a brand new non-infected rod (unlike my original). The warned me that they might have to re-break both my tibia and possibly my fibula to make things straight. Lucky for me the were in and out in a little over two hours and I didn't need to have anything broken--again.

The next phase of the surgery was to move/flap muscle from the side of my leg to the top of my leg. That was the easy surgery that would take around 8 hours--if I was lucky. If I wasn't lucky I would have muscle from my back removed and then attached at the lower part of my right leg's artery and flapped on top of my tibia at the worst of the break sites. Again luck was on my side and the docs were able to do the easier of the two surgeries and I was out of the OR in less than 10 hours. So, my Peroneus muscle is no longer on the lateral side/outside of my right leg but instead on top of my tibia. To my family's relief the surgery was a lot shorter than everyone expected and yet still the longest of all my 11 surgeries. Sadly I lost a lot of blood in the process of it all. I lost enough blood to warrant another transfusion of 2 units of blood.

Since Harbourview is a teaching hospital I had a lot of teams of students coming around to check on me. I did not complain nor mind about the nice eye candy that were always checking in on me either! The infectious disease team were the actual ones who found that I had a heart murmur. As if I did not have enough to worry about! I was reassured my heart murmur was all do to the loss of blood and quieted down once I received the transfusion. Just to be on the safe side I did have a Echo Cardiogram. It was really interesting to see and hear my heart pumping away on a computer monitor!

I am truly blessed to have such awesome friends and family members that came out of the woodwork to come visit me! Thank you to all that did visit me while I was in Seattle--you know who you are. You are truly stellar people to put up w/the ickiness of the hospital with all my tubing, blood and guts! When you were there my pain was minimized and time went by more quickly. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

Even though I had awesome care from exceptional doctors I was not impressed with the nursing staff at Harbourview! Thank goodness I had two exceptional nurses when I was in the worst of pain! My favorite nurse was a huge Samoan gentleman w/the nickname of "Mother." He got the nickname for mothering his patients and being quite the "Mother F...er" if anyone messed w/his patients. Not only did he provide excellent care he kept my spirits up and was a hoot and a half! There was also a sweet little nurse that always checked in on me those first really painful days. Sadly her name escapes my memory.

Tragically beyond those two angels the nursing staff at Harbourview left a lot to be desired! It got to be kinda game/sad joke between my family and I about how long it would take someone to come and answer my call for assistance. We would make bets as to the time and I would time them w/my handy-dandy timer watch. If my two angels were not on it took a minimum of 11 minutes to get someone to help me. This is not very comforting if you think about needing help to get to the bathroom and have to wait a LONG time with a very little bladder! Now I am completely sympathetic to busy nurses! The crux of it was that I had a direct line of sight into the nurses station and saw a lot more socialization than willingness much less any sort of rushing to help a patient. The nurses in Mexico who were afraid of me and did not speak English nor understood my sad Spanish were 1000 times more attentive than those at in the big city hospital! It boggles my mind even today! I am going to make a point of going back to St. Joes and thank the nurses that cared for me there! Needless to say I was anxious to get out of there! So much so that I begged the docs to let me go home early. After only 8 days in the hospital and a lot of begging on my part I was on my way home to good ole' Bellingham. I have never been so glad to see my own bed!

So, a lot of rest is on my list of activities--and not like I have a lot of energy for much of anything else either. Six weeks and the stitches will be out and I might even be walking on my own two feet.

Good News--and yes I am wearing pants

Despite having to stay in the hospital for SIX WHOLE DAYS I returned home safe and sound where I proceeded to sleep the rest of the week away. Sadly, it was only an issue of paperwork that kept me in two more days than needed.

Bless my mother's heart but she isn't the greatest of cooks (she hates it and fully admits she isn't proficient but she is the one that did keep the family alive). After the third day of hospital food mom's cooking looked really good! Which I suppose is both a good and bad point all in one. :)

There were a couple of reasons why I was so overly the top exhausted. The surgery was suppose to last two to three hours, four hours at the top. My surgery lasted an unusual six hours. Turns out that while I can't seem to fill in bone at my fracture sites I sure can grow bone to fill in the space left empty by the half pins I have had changed around. I have had to have quite a few half pin revisions--one, two or all the half pins at every surgery since the Taylor Spacial Frame (TSF) was attached. I have had 7 surgeries with the TSF attached. Where each half pin that was taken out quickly and efficiently filled in with good hard bone. So, when the docs went to clear out the center cavity of my tibia the Medullary Cavity, they kept running into road blocks. Because of how dense this bone was the medical team went through three drills and every single bit in the hospital until Dr. T remembered a rather archaic procedure using some special but old tool. People were sent down into the hospital's basement to look for this tool--lucky for me the hospital never gets rid of any type of medical tool--no matter how outdated. So, I had a really long surgery and the medications used to keep me under make me feel awful but to make maters worse I unfortunately lost a lot of blood. The good news is that blood transfusions are really safe nowadays and especially safe in the state of Washington! In fact if you have to have a blood transfusion Washington state is the safest place to have one done.

So for the next six weeks I am to be completely non-weight bearing (*big huge sigh*). The up side is that everyone is a lot safer with me using the walker than a set of crutches and I will beef up those arm muscles a bit too. The other good news is that the old TSF is off and now an Izzie frame or more formally known as an Ilizarov external fixation device. I can wear my velvet pants now--yippee! The rod that Medullary Cavity is just a wire encased in anti-biotic infused cement. The wire is a delivery system and stability not weight bearing which is why the walker and I are once again pared. So, if all goes well the anti-biotic rod is at this very moment whipping out all the big bad bugs that are preventing my bone from healing. Who knows I may be waking before 2009--what a Christmas gift that would be!

"God Willing"

Have you ever come across a plaque that says,

"Good Morning! This is God.

I will be handling all of your problems today.

I do not need your help.

So have a good day!"

I was reminded of that statement/quote/saying by the following UCC's Stillspeaking Daily Devotional Newsletter. Every morning I get a devotional. These quick little reads are more than insightful and even personal! Interesting how this edition is on the same day of my surgery. Yet again I am humbled and reminded that it is in God's hands and God Willing this surgery will work. If not there is another path, journey and/or plan for me. The ever "event/gift/package seeking peek-er" in me wants to know NOW the answer to "What has God got up God's sleeves for me?". So, God it is in your plans & I trust you will see me safely to where I need to go. So, without ado here is the devotional for 9/25/08.

Home: i.UCC Community: Newsletter
Thursday, September 25, 2008 What Tomorrow Will Bring
Bible Excerpt from James 4:11-16


You who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money." Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that."

Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson

I've just moved to Toronto for the year to, as James puts it, "do business and make money." Not much money as I am teaching at a seminary. I am trying to imagine how people might have heard it if every time in recent months that I had talked about these plans and changes, I had said, "If the Lord wills it," or "God willing," or "It's really in God's hands." I suspect I would have felt a little showy, overly pious, and maybe phony. Moreover, I imagine that a fair number of those with whom I spoke would have thought the same--that is, if they weren't wondering if I were in need of a psychiatric evaluation! We tend to think we're in charge, in control.

But however odd it may sound in the ears of a secular age, James strikes me as closer to the truth. Our illusions of control are just that: illusions. Maybe it's the people who think they are in charge of life that need the psychiatric evaluation or attitude adjustment? And life has a way of giving us those little evaluations, those attitude adjustments. Which is not to say that we shouldn't make plans or have our projects. We do and we should. And yet we don't, can't, know what tomorrow will bring. The only thing we can know for sure is that God's grace will uphold us, God's wisdom will guide us, and God's peace shall keep us. And knowing that is enough.

Prayer
When you challenge my foolish idea that I am in charge, when you send your attitude adjustments, grant me grace to receive them graciously and learn that you are God, not me. Amen.

About the Author:
Anthony B. Robinson, UCC pastor, speaker and author, teaches leadership at Emmanuel College at the University of Toronto. His newest book is Changing the Conversation: A Third Way for Congregations.



The Stillspeaking Daily Devotional is a free service and is supported by your gifts to Our Church's Wider Mission. Scripture quotations are from New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America, adapted. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

If you are interested in purchasing the "Good Morning this is God" plaque please click here. The plaque is from from the Casual Living catalog/web site.

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Happy Birthday taller little sister. It did not bother me when I turned 30. Yet having my sister turn 30 bothers me. I suppose that while she was in her 20s I still had my foot in the proverbial door of young adult. Now we both have to be grown-up.

"Na-na-na hey, hey, hey good-bye na-na-na....."

As it is the eve of my life with out my TSF (Taylor-Spacial-Frame) I thought I would be more excited but instead my dang ankle hurts. In honor of the fateful event I have taken some "before" pictures to remind one and all, "Don't wear flip-flops!" That or to advertise that I am into really weird piercings. Whatever else happens this whole process, though uncompleted, will have left etchings across my life and especially on my heart. I know it sounds cheesy but it is as if I am hearing, "DON'T WAIST ANY MOMENT!" on a loud speaker--from my own life struggles to the struggles I have, I do and what I will witness in others. So without further ado please take a moment to look at the before pictures.

Pictures taken 9/23/08

A post for a hoot!

Gertrude Mavis, AKA: Gertie Mae, Gertie Girl, Mae-Mae 9/22/08

Gus: "I am smelling something & I think it is in your pocket?" 9/22/08

Gertie Mae: "You may think I am asleep but I've got my eye on you!" 9/22/08

Gustophalis-Agustus AKA: Gus, Gus-Gus, Pooter 9/22/08

Plan B

So, we are onto Plan B. Which is a series of surgeries. To my relief I finally have a date and time for the first of the two surgeries. The fist surgery will be on September 25th at 1pm. This surgery will involve putting a nail/wire wrapped in cement (the kind used in hip replacements) that is then impregnated w/antibiotics. This nail will go through the main shaft of the bone, Medullary cavity to be exact, so that the antibiotics will leach out from the center killing off any thing and every thing that is not healthy to the bone. I am thrilled to report that I get to go off all anti-biotic medication for 5 days prior to surgery. This is in hopes I "grow" something and when they take cultures from the bone the doctors will know exactly what to hit it with. In any case I am very excited to be off the "leash" of the anti-biotics. The bummer of the deal is that the nail is not made to be weight bearing so I will be off my right leg for three whole weeks. On the up side is that I will not be lugging all the weight of the Taylor-Spacial-Frame. It will be removed an an Izzie frame will be holding my leg in line--a couple of half pins at my knee and ankle with a bar connecting the two.

The second of the two surgeries is a lot simpler. It is very basic infact, just taking all the hardware put in the 1st surgery and then putting a rod/nail that is permanet. The permanet device will actually be quite similar to the original rod/nail put into me in Mexico--can you get more ironic than that? I suppose I will be non-weight bearing for a few weeks but after that I am with surgery. I won't be a runner but I have yet to meet a chesty gal who is so no tears lost there.

A few days have passed.

Now that a few days have past--I had my day of shock, day of wallowing and then a day of just plain crankiness. Today I am again at a place I have come back to again and again. It is what it is.

Ironically, it was this exact time last year, August 2007, I questioned my doctors why they did not take my leg then and there way back in March. I was in so much pain and agony I just wanted it over. I was frustrated even more to think that if the leg was taken off back in March--I surely would be up and walk and thus moving on. So, the worse case scenario isn't the worst case scenario--at least not in my mind at this point in time. Grant it I may be totally misguided and some what delusional but the thought of being one legged does not scare me as much as it did.

I do truly trust Dr. T and believe that amputation is the absolute last thing we do because Dr. T has mentioned numerous times a couple of different approaches to be taken if I am unable to grow the bone to fill in the fractures. Nevertheless, if amputation is the only solution I am able to find aspects of a prosthetic leg that could be considered "positive." As I told Mari, my sister, if I do have to go to the prosthetic leg route I will have a brand new leg. It will be perfect and look great--no scars or large divot where the docs removed the infected bone, muscle, tendons etc. And I there is no shaving of a fake leg--no more cuts with unending bleeding. I will just insist that I have toes to paint--I love painted toenails. So, we will pray. We will wait. And take what happens as it is and celebrate the new after.

Not so good news.

I believe I have not done the "Why me?" thing since the whole leg saga began. However, I might be slipping into it. I found out yesterday that my bone has grown into a solid mass but that mass is not large and only 1/3 of what needs to be filled in. I go back in six weeks and if there is little to no change we need to look at other options. Needless to say I am frustrated as all hell! So frustrated that there are no tears left to shed. Part of me doesn't want to wait six weeks to find out this has not worked--let's decide now what needs to be done. If things haven't improved a lot in six weeks Dr. T want to send me down to see another trauma specialist. A large part of me is asking, "Why wait?" Another part of me is terrified about what that doctor might say; i.e. "the leg is not salvageable any more" All of this information just makes me want to do nothing--not get out of bed, not get dressed--just sit at my computer and play solitaire. Questions like, What does it matter what happens now? I have already lost two years of my life--isn't it enough already? Just get it done and over with and let me learn how to get along again. Can you can paint the toe nails on a prosthetic leg/foot?

While the cat is away the mouse will play.....

Mom and Dad finally left Monday the 28th. At one point Mom is talking about the fun she is going to have on this trip and excited to just mosey down the coast using Highway 101. My laughing reply was, "You have to leave first to have fun." She laughed and said yep it is time to go. An eye roll from me because Dad was already ready and in the car waiting.

I have had many people jokingly tell me not to burn the place down. But really my woo-hooing it up is more like being able to hold the remote (no channel surfing unless I want to) and eat at times when I want to.

Last night I had, Anne Marie, a dear friend, over for dinner and a knitting session. While I didn't burn the place down I did manage to break the kitchen sinks faucet. I was finishing up w/washing the lettuce and talking w/Anne Marie and the dang thing just snapped off. I still don't know exactly what I did that made it break. Water sprayed up to the ceiling, across the counter and even hit a couple of the pots that are hanging above the counter. Anne Marie and I laughed and thought that this was the biggest excitement we each have had in a long while. We both need to get out more! So, I have realized while my Mother is a clean freak about most things dusting things up high are not on her list. The pots that were wiped dry look a lot cleaner than the others. In any case it looks like I will be hauling water from the little bathroom until it is fixed or the parental units come home. I really didn't expect to have to call Mom and Dad to say, "So I have some bad news...." In my opinion unless there is blood involved it is not that serious so I should hopefully not have other problems (knock on wood).

In any case it was a good laugh!

TT4N,
Lara

Can it be True?

Big News:

• For the first time since before April 16th I was able to empty the dishwasher. Now I know some of you all are thinking, "Ya, so? Big deal!" But I haven't been able to since my last surgery--3 months ago. If I could jump up and down I would!





• I realized I am taking less pain medication meaning I am not always in pain on daily basis. Another, "wish I could jump for joy" moments!





• I am leaving the cane places--i.e. I am walking w/out the cane much more.

Please refer to the pictures in the previous posts. When referring to the picture below please note that in the first post/picture the long white band shown below the gastrocnemius muscle is the Achilles tendon. Bet you didn't think it was that long did you?

• My very astute PT figured out the reason I am unable to do a regular heel-raise. My toes do not bend when I am standing up straight to do a heel-raise. However, I can bend my toes into a heel-raise position when my knee is bent. It is all my gastrocnemius (a.k.a. gastroc) fault! My gastroc & soleus muscles are still very tight. Which means I cannot do a heel-raise with my right leg. The gastroc is attached to the Achilles tendon, the Achilles tendon is attached to your plantar fascia and the plantar fascia attaches to the big toe. If they are all tight like mine are the soleus and the gastroc is tight and the Achilles tendon is tight and the plantar fascia is tight--toes cannot bend. When the knee is bent the tension on the soleus and gastroc is vastly lessened and therefore will not pull the achilles tendon tight. I can do heel-raises after all--they are pathetic and only done with the knees bent, but it is a start! Can't wait to see Dr. T and show off. :)

• New goals for physical therapy--strech out that gastroc! How am I going to do that with the bird cage (TSF: Taylor Spacial Frame) around my leg? To say the least what is done to my leg is only minute to what will need doing when the frame is off. My PT must become a bit of a contortist to work around the bird cage. I do get a foot and calf massage; too bad it is the deep tissue kind to break up scar tissue. Sadly there is no way for the massage to be a calming and refreshing time. The muscles need invigorating and the tendons need elogating within the confines of the bird cage. Not so much fun for either my PT or me! I end up coming home and feeling as if I climbed Mt. Baker or ran a marathon but without the elation of completing something so momentus.

As always one step at a time!

TTFN

Lara

Picture reference for next blog entry #2:

Picture reference for next blog entry #1:

Pain, pain go away and don't come back another day!

This past week I saw my GP, the doctor over seeing my pain management. She is GREAT! And even better is the staff are wonderful! I was pleasantly surprised when my nurse told me that she was always glad to see me on the docket. Per her standards I am a patient that is easy to handle; more importantly fun and witty. I liked that compliment! I always worry that I am complaining too much. I will never adhere to the motto "There is no crying baseball!" However, I do want to be the "squeaky wheel" when things are not the way the should be--whether that is about how I physically feel or how about life in general. Seek justice, do kindness and walk humbly w/your God.

I have been worried that my pain has been getting out of hand and/or I am becoming tolerant to my break through pain medication. The step up in medication to help "control" pain is not fun. You don't feel pain b/c you don't feel anything--you are either asleep or awake as a zombie. That is not a reality I want to be a part of! My doctor asked me a variety of questions and when she was finished she said, "You are not becoming tolerant of the break through pain medication." She basically said I need to remember that I have had major trauma to my leg. Break through pain that is as consistent as it has been for me, while awful, is to be expected with the trauma that my leg has undergone. Taking more than one dose a day of the break through pain medication is OKAY. The ramifications of dealing with pain and the effects of pain medication (especially about tolerance/addiction/addict) has always lingered in my thoughts. My doctor basically said relax and take the pain meds as much as needed b/c pain hinders healing. So, I have added another huge bottle of bills to my collection. The drawers of my nightstand are quite large and I have one that is devoted to bottles of medication. Shall I go into the pharmacy business after this?

My beloved babies are hoodlums! Gertie Mae and Gus have some how been able to escape from their enclosure. The really truly scary thing is that they have been able cross busy streets. Luckily they have been found without injury. Just hearing where they were found made me nauseous! If you are praying for me in any way please pray that my hounds stay put!!! It is hard enough that they aren't part of the family the way they use to be (i.e. not allowed inside). The thought of something happening to either of them b/c they got out of their "pen" would break me! Fuzz therapy is very very important!
xoxo
Lara

First--big oops on my part for not posting sooner. I did actually have stuff written but I kept doing something wrong and it either was erased or would not publish on the blog and then got erased. Anyway, it looks like all things are going forward!

Speaking of forward--my leg is progressing great. In all my frustrations in dealing w/my pain and lack of bounce back I realized I have not been walking on my tibia--the bone that is suppose to be the weight bearing bone. My fibula was doing the major support job. So in essences this is the first time in over a year that I am walking on my tibia and it is not happy with me! My break through pain has been a lot more intense which means more awful side effects w/pain "management." But I am going today to chat w/my pain care specialist to see if there is anything else I can/could do to lessen the break through pain.

I still have my PICC line in and taking the heavy duty antibiotic Vancomycin to kill off the bacteria that was found in the bone at the last surgery. They took a couple cultures to make sure the staph infections were gone. They were not present (though the staph can lye dormant for years--oh, what a pleasant thought). So i infuse twice a day. At least this time around the side effects from the antibiotics are not so bad.

News from the Orthopedic doc is that my "bone is unorganized." I should have said to him, "Right now my life is very unorganized! Why would my bones be any different?" :) Basically he was saying that I am putting down a lot of bone but it isn't in the right configuration for the solidity he wants my bone to have before the TSF is removed. No CT scan for me this month. Instead I am upping my bone growth stimulator use. Keep your fingers crossed for me that this August will be the month for a CT scan and the bone will be solid through and through.
xoxo
Lara

The Leg Saga Continued

The surgery went well in April (sorry not getting an up date out sooner--pain does not do fun things to the mind and/or body--i.e. thinking and planning go by the way side). I even got to go home earlier than was expected. I was so so so lucky that so many wonderful people came to see me in the hospital! Visiting and chatting with people makes the day go quicker and the pain seems lessened. Visitors are always welcome--they did my mind, body and spirit good!


As of June 17th, 2008 the doctor said, "From a technical standpoint everything looks great! At this rate we should be able to schedule a CT scan next month." And then he mentioned that it might come off before the end of the summer. I wanted to shush him b/c he has said that before and it hasn't happened. Some part of me feels that if anyone says it out loud too much it won't happen like it didn't happen 6 times before.

So, the CT scan is the next big goal. It will show how dense the bone is. There has been a huge difference in how I have felt after this surgery versus any of the others. I had little pain in the hospital this time around. Instead it came after surgery and hit me hard enough to knock me off my rocker. As in the past my energy level and mobility went way down. To my utter frustration, even after two months I am still not fully able to walk all day without the walker. I hate the walker and I would really like to chuck it out a window of a high-rise (good thing their aren't any high-rises in Bellingham). As my physical therapist reminds me when I am frustrated with the lack of progress, that the docs did cut through two sides of my leg--the inside of my leg to put the bone graft in and then the outside of my leg where they took a chunk out of my fibula. I think I might have thrown things at her for similar "obvious" statements if it weren't for the fact that she is has the patients of a saint and she is just one of those people who is just really nice. You just can't hold any hard feelings against her.

Again sorry for the delay in postings!
xoxo
Lara

Living

DANCE

as though no one is watching you,
LOVE

as though you have never been hurt before,
SING

as though no one can hear you,
LIVE

as though heaven is on earth.
Souza

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

Dr. Seuss

Baby Booties

These are 3 of the 8 baby booties I knitted for the darling nurse who has journeyed with me through my leg saga and is having a little bambino. We are all excited for her but will miss her very much! She is able to tell how I am doing by how I walk to the door to go back into the office rooms. I will have to train a new one all over again. :) Actually, I think my doc will miss her more than anyone! He is one of those brilliant types who needs someone to keep him on track and "in-line." It must be a brain trade off--you can't do both. I grew up w/a guy, who is also brilliant but clueless about other things. He was always loosing his keys or other various small items. But he was very charismatic and always had an entourage of gals following him and picking up what he would have lost. It was too funny to watch it all in action! I am not surprised he is successful w/a very organized wife! Funny how those things all work out!

Bone Envy

Surgery #10 or #14 if you count the 3 in office procedures.
My fibula has bone envy.

Since I have been weight bearing on my leg the fibula, the bone that isn't suppose to be the weight bearing bone, has been doing just that. Hence the bone envy. This means that a chunk has to be removed. Unlike the tibia that had the infections and was "scraped clean" 3 times, the fibula healed very quickly and very nicely. What is it about littler siblings trying to show up the older ones?

Truth be told I am less worried about having my bone "broken" than having the bone harvesting that has to be done so there is bone to graft to the fracture sites on the tibia. I am further less than thrilled to find out that the docs want lots of bone material to "play" with so they must take out more bone which means the donor sit has to be my right hip. Oh the joys of modern medicine.

Unfortunately, this could mean a lot more pain. The good thing is that I have the routine down now! I better after 10 surgeries. I know what to expect and to get on top of things right away. I am defiantly not going to be stoic about the pain after surgery!!! Another plus is that I will have someone w/me during the "bad" hours which can be 12-24 hours after surgery to help alert the nurses that the pain is getting out of control.

I am also on the up-and-up w/the cafeteria. Turns out that a patient can order anything from the cafeteria and not have the awful stuff that is served to all patients. I don't get it! The stuff that is served to the patients is horrid! It is always over cooked, bland and either very dry or overly soggy. Yet the cafeteria is an excellent cafeteria where most people, not patients, enjoy the food & have no qualms about eating there. An odd system it is!

All in all I am looking forward to having this done and over with. I really think this will make the tibia really put down bone and that makes an end to all of this more and more near! I have a great feeling about it all and feel that everything is growing a-new every where and my body like the trees and flowers is no exception!

On a weird side note, the only time I ever want a Big Mac is when I haven't been able to eat prior to surgery. Isn't that the weirdest thing? Under normal circumstances even the thought of a Big Mac makes me nauseous. The body does weird and wondrous things!

You Have Got to be Kidding!

I finally get to use my right leg and I am almost walking normal. I was so proud of my self I took each of my two basset hounds on a walk--up one side of the road/sidewalk and back down the other side. It was great fun and I wore the dogs out! I have those wonderful retractable leashes for each dog. I would let Gus or Gertie Mae run a head the length of the leash then I would call them back. Gus was more than excited to run back to me, Gertie on the other had is another story. So I would walk about 10 steps or the length of a yard/driveway and let Gus run ahead eventually he would find something interesting to smell and stop. After a proper smelling was done I would tug a little on the leash and call Gus's name. The good natured boy that he is excitedly bounded back to me tail a waggin' and his long ears a flapping. By the time we were on our home stretch Gus was one tired and happy pup!

Gertie Mae on the other hand caught on to my plan way too quickly! As the writers of Your Pure Breed Puppy state, "Basset Hounds are among the most easygoing of all breeds. Some are dignified and regal. Most are clownish. Almost all are reliably good-natured and peaceful...They are independent thinkers who don't particularly care about pleasing you. Most Basset Hounds are very stubborn." Gus is my clown. Gertie Mae is my princess! She will have none of this running to and fro stuff. Even though my trying to tire her out plan did not work she did have fun! Her tail does double time wagging and she does grin. Which is hard to explain to people unless they are looking at her--it was a grin no less!

So, because of all this walking and finally truly using my right leg I develop bursitis. "WHAT?" said in exclamation to the doctor! I suppose it makes sense--I haven't really utalized myt leg much and I do walk bow-legged (my left leg is very happy about that), with a bit of a limp and my right leg is a bit shorter. I knew my legs where not the same length, the MRSA made that difference a bit more significant. The difference in leg length plus an abnormal gait plus a lack of use of the leg thus the knee equals problems. I am on a the road to recovery w/some help from the great staff at Performance Physical Thearpy and the dreaded ice for icing. Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well and quickly!

More to come soon!

Another Hiccup in Time

Alas, my surgery has been rescheduled for April 17th. The good news is that I will not miss Scott O.'s last day as lead-interim minister for FCCB on March 30th. I do so hope we have a send off he so rightly deserves! I cannot believe how time flies when you don't want it to and how it drags on when you do want it to fly by! I will also be able to attend Miss Jennifer's Installation at the First Congregational Church of Forest Grove Oregon. Check out her profile too--they did a great job!

With Grandpa on a sandy beach.

As some of you know my Grandma turned 95 on the 31st of January. She was an extraordinary woman of many talents! She has had Parkinson's Disease for as long as I can remember--so for over 3 decades. The Parkinson's Disease has made life for Grandma & anyone helping her really rough! Nevertheless, with her quiet diligence she set out to complete two final goals.

1. Put together & publish a book including her short stories, poetry, comments of the world around her & images--paintings, photographs of her youth & photographs she took herself.


2. Re-do/up-date the kitchen for my Aunt Cathy--the youngest daughter of the two.

She did those things & was quite happy & she was pleased as punch about it!

Sunday 3/2/08 My Aunt Cathy gently told her, "It is time to go Ma, It is almost spring & Dad is waiting for you to walk on the beach with him. " My Grandma, Eleanor Richards Roraff peacefully slipped from this world into the next.

All posts are dedicated to those who love me. This is especially dedicated to my Grandma, Eleanor Richards Roraff, daughter, sister, friend, wife, Mother & Grandma. Beloved by all who knew her!

Dad is off the Hook!

Since my birthday on February 28th I have been having quite a lot of pain in my right knee to the top of the three half pins on the first rings of the TSF. I was worried that my Dad might have done something to it when he shoved in a chair in where my leg was. Dad is off the hook! Turns out I have bursitis which is very similar to tendenitis easily fixed w/some physical thearpy, rest & anti-inflamatories. Hip-hip-horay!!!! It is nothing serious!!!

I also found out that my fibula is what has been keeping my tibia from really putting down more bone. In all tib-fib fracturess the fibula--the finer non-weight bearing bone is never set b/c it can interfer with the healing of the tibia. My fibula was broken but never had any infection in it & by the time I got home from Mexico it was already working hard at fixing itself. The begining of my problem. The doctor could not figure out why my tibia was not healing as quickly as it should--he then delved deeper. My fibula is a bit bigger than my tibia, which it should not be. Therefore the fibula, the finer bone has become the longer bone and the one that is doing the weight bearing. The tibia has not had a chance to heal well because it cannot "reach." This is great news! I was worried that my doctor would talk about amputation as an option I would need to decide on. Wonderfully, that has nothing to do with what will happen next. For fixing the tibia I will either have another bone graft or I will have the bone plated. Either one will work I have no preference either way. The great thing is that I know what will happen going in--I know what to expect and how I should react. The other part of either procedure will envolve removing some of my fibula. My hope is that I will not have that floppy foot thing again! Dr. Taranow wants me to get a second opinion in either Seattle--Harborview or in Portland w/Dr. Gillman. I could also end up having the surgery in one of those places as well, wich does not thrill me
Either way the news is good!

Good News or Not so Good News First?

Good News

Dr. Taranow removed my only wire--the device that went through and through my leg above my ankle. I am ecstatic to be wire free! I now only have six half pins--they are the ones that go into the bone. Knock on wood, I have yet to have any major irritations with the half pins. I had a lot of problems with the wires! Dad thinks it might be because he is allergic to stainless steal and I have had problems w/the metal as well (I am unable to wear stainless steal earrings). The wires where stainless steal whereas the half pins are titanium..



Not So Good News

I received the results of my CT scan yesterday. One of the fractures is not healing like it should be. I was expecting not to have great news but I wasn't expecting it to be this bad either. So, I am looking at something as simple as loosening my struts to make the bones move more therefore be stimulated and then grow. Or, the most unfavorable, have another bone graft done. The bone graft isn't what the problem is--it is the bone donor site. The pain that came from that was more intense, deep and all around horrible than anything else I have had to go through with.



I will find out more by Tuesday. So, keep posted.

Here is Wikipedia's definition of a Taylor Spacial Frame

Smith & Nephew is the brand of Taylor Spacial Frame that I am "fixed" with. Check them out they have some neat stories and informantion!

Escape from Bellingham

I escaped from Bellingham for a short while--it was sweet none-the-less. Derek initially took me over to Ellensburg--we were very lucky and had no problem with he passes! We stopped in Leavenworth which is even more delightful covered in snow! We ate at this great restaurant Cafe Mozart. If you check out their website be sure to look at the wine section. You will see their amazing wine cellar that is as wonderful if not more to look at than the promenade. We were entertained by the proprietor's father who is a delightful man with wonderful information about Northern Europe and Leavenworth.



We headed back to the Western side and I had a wonderful time with my dearest of friends, Sacha & Chris Coughran and their darlings Norah & Harper Mae. The night was all too short but very sweet!


Executive Pacific Plaza is the swanky little hotel in the middle of downtown Seattle. If only I had been able to walk confidently on my own--I would have done lots of exploring! Check out a picture of the room we stayed in--it is the picture on the top left. Yes, two windows--counting them all there were four--three looked into the alley but the other looked out on to Spring Street at the new architectural wonder the Seattle Public Library and if you didn't know the have tons of programs new and on-going. Alas, if I only lived in the area!



For the longest time I have longed to see my the wonderful people who I worked with at SHOES-n-FEET in Bellevue--Colin, Ken, JB, & Joe. I was also introduced to their new manager (since I am horrible w/names I think it was Julie) who seemed like a darling. I was told that I am still asked for and asked about. It was so wonderful to see them! It was a good ego booster too--they seemed just as excited to see me as I was of them. The store has been renovated and it looks amazing! I was able to get some OTC arch supports and a pair of slippers that are much more substantial than the ones I had. It is my theory that everyone needs a good pair of shoes, a good pair of arch supports and a good counselor/therapist. Of course the service was wonderful! My foot, ankle and leg were examined with interest that only people involved w/feet and lower leg issues can appreciate. It has made my month!



The night before we headed back to Bellingham Derek took me to a great little Puerto Rican restaurant in Ballard. The food, atmosphere and of course the company were a memory to be cherished. I will have to figure out how to add a photo album to show you the fun we hand.


It is my theory that everyone needs a good pair of shoes, a good pair of arch supports and a good counselor/therapist. I definitely have the good shoes and arch supports. It also hit me that I really do need to speak to a professional about my accident and the pursuing saga that has followed it. It will be a year on 2/16/08. I took a shower standing up for the first time during this trip. I thought nothing of it until I got out and suddenly had this overwhelming sense of anguish. I was horrible luckily that Derek was there and held me until my crying ceased. And he says he runs from drama--we can let him think that. :)

A Sock Shower

I have never had so much fun getting socks! On Tuesday, January 8th, 2008 I was the honored guest at the Pilgrim Circle of First Congregational Church of Bellingham (the church I have attended since I was 18 months old). What wonderful ladies surrounded me with such love! Now I have an abundance of cute and outlandish socks! Since people are going to see my leg in a "bird cage" and stare anyway I might as well make my socks interesting if not obnoxious all at once. Have you ever picked out your socks first and then found an outfit to go with them? I have the wonderful luxery to do just that. With so many socks to pick from and the fact that my right foot can only take a really short sock (ankletes) I am having way too much fun puting two different socks together--one knee high or crew length and one anklet. Now, how many people can you say do that? Most days I have to wear the two different socks that are attention grabbing just by themselves. I won't say no to a little attention--especially if it isn't always about "the bird cage."



Now for my sappy moment--I know it is thick as syrup but it is absolutely true.



The saying "You can never go home again" is true in the sense that "you" are not the same nor is the place. Nevertheless, I always knew I could find warmth, faith, consoling, encouragement etc in the midst of the the members of FCCB. If I did not know how loved I was I do now. It a wonderful functional affrimation of support. It was never so apprent how I am surrounded by wonderful people who only want me to be healthy and happy! -No matter what those at the FCCB will always open their arms wide for me to come home!

"...and God is still speaking..."